Physical symptoms, pain problems, and chronic health care problems are many times overwhelming and difficult to deal with. Such physical problems are exhausting and solutions many times are hard to find. Because we believe that doctors and other professionals should have the answers to all of our physical health concerns, we are many times discouraged and upset when such solutions are not found. It may be that we are looking in the wrong place for understanding what is wrong with us. Here are a few thoughts that are critical to understand.
The Mind-Body Connection
- Though we many times do not want to admit it, there is a clear connection between our mind, emotions and our physical bodies.
- Our American culture has tried to make us believe that our bodies, and our psychological selves, are separate entities.
- Modern science has known for quite some time that there is a clear mind-body connection.
- However, we humans would like to deny such a connection because we think it makes things simple and allows us to avoid dealing with some of the more painful issues of our lives.
- None of this denies the reality of the physical problems that you may be experiencing. However, these problems are many times aggravated by the emotional issues that we try so hard to push away from our conscious awareness.
The Body Never Forgets
- It is critical to understand that we all have a “body memory” that “contains” everything that we experience in life.
- If our early life was comfortable, safe, and predictable, we many times find ourselves feeling comfortable and relaxed in the world.
- In contrast, if our early life were full of pain, suffering, conflicts, etc., then we find ourselves “harboring” inner tensions and anxieties that seem to “rumble under the surface” of our lives.
- The body remembers everything that we have experienced in life–fears, anger, upsets, disappointments, hurts, abuse, loss, tensions, and issues of growing up in dysfunctional situations.
The Body Feels Our Daily Stress
- Not only does our body remember stress from the past, it also reacts to daily hassles, upsets, conflicts, and problems that we deal with on a daily basis.
- It helps when we pay attention to our “physical-stress symptoms” because they are “messages” telling us something about our lives in the present.
- Many times, our body is telling us that we need to “slow down and pace ourselves better.”
- When we are stressed, in a panic, feeling anxious, our immune system responses are compromised and we are more open to illness and infections, physical problems, etc.
- Further, any physical problems are made worse when we are under stress, anxiety, panic, etc.
The Body Reminds Us Of Denied Issues
- When we continue to deny problems, issues, and our need to “slow down” and respond differently in life, our body becomes “a friend that reminds us” of what we need to do in life.
- The more we continue to deny personal issues in our lives, the more our body will “stop us” until we “slow down enough to pay attention to what we have to do.”
- If we continue to deny problems, and avoid taking appropriate action, our bodily symptoms will increase, amplify, become much worse, and become more central in our lives.
- Many times physical problems are metaphors (or indirect ways of telling a story) for our inner rage and anger about the conditions of our lives.
The Body Reacts To Family/Relationship Stress
- Family and relationship issues are critical to our emotional and physical health.
- When we experience problems in the family, our body reacts no matter what we do.
- If we deny problems and try to push them away we will find ourselves experiencing an increase in physical problems, sensations, pains, stress and suffering.
The Body & The Dysfunctional Rules Of Stress
- The dysfunctional rules of the family, and life, are responsible for most of our human suffering.
- We as a society think that “the less said about problems and issues the better it will be.” We know that “talking about things will only make them worse.”
- The dysfunctional rules are (1) Don’t Talk About It; (2) Don’t Think About It ; (3) Don’t Even Feel Any Emotions About it; and, (4) Avoid Doing Anything About It At All Possible Costs!
- These rules only create more misery for us in life.
The Body & Solutions For Living Again
- Facing things will at first be difficult, distressing, and overwhelming, but the only way to heal is to feel everything.
- Honest solutions require taking time for an honest awareness of what is happening in one’s life that is causing problems.
- It takes an effort to look to the past and the unresolved issues that have been “pushed away” from being resolved.
- It also takes an effort to look at the present situation, stressors, personal and relationship issues, and other things that are “making them known through the body.”
- Facing problems that have been denied requires an understanding that this is something that has to be done if one is to move on and become healthy again in life.
- Change does not happen quickly because “your body does not believe that real change has happened until it sees that you will consistently change your patterns of responding.”
- Our needs to “make it work and force solutions by continuing on the same course” are doomed to failure.
- Real change requires real efforts over time, not by looking for the cure, but focus on real issues.
- We have to start to talk about, face, and change what is happening in our lives if we are to make changes in other ways.
- The more we focus on our physical symptoms as the cause of all our problems, the less we will be able to “use this situation as new insight to a better future.”
- However, our need for security, comfort, and safety pushes us to continue to employ the dysfunctional rules resulting in even further physical problems and much less of an opportunity for healing.
- We have to become realistic and stop our denial, rationalizations, and resistance to changing.
- When our body “tells us something about the conditions of our lives,” then we have to start to “thank it for being there to remind us that something is not right for us in life.”
- Facing our fears, insecurities, and uncertainty of what to do in life is critical to being able to make changes.
- When you find yourself becoming upset because you, or others, have confronted your “run from facing the truth,” then the more you will know that you are on the right track to making changes.
- Real change requires “taking the leap of faith” because we know what we have been doing is just not working–especially in the face of what our bodies are telling us about how we have lived life.
- To Heal You Must Feel! So when you are feeling overwhelmed, in a state of anxiety and panic, and rushing for solution to physical problems that should be telling you something about your emotional health, then you have to know you are on the right track.
- The more your feel, the more you are healing.
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