Depression, anxiety, and other emotional problems are things that we wish would “just go away.” The frustration in dealing with such problems is that they tend to last longer than we think is appropriate or comfortable. We find that our life goals have had to change as a result of these things. It helps to understand a few key issues in order to live the life you want while managing these problems.
Our Wish For a Quick Cure
We often expect that in the face of problems we can have a “quick solution”. We turn to professionals with the expectation that the “magical cures” will be found that will allow us to again return to living a “normal life.” As we read about our issues on the internet, news and other media, we hear about all of the newest scientific breakthrough for the latest medical problem leading us to expect that there is a “cure for everything.”
The reality is that quick cures are not easily available for most problems. This leaves us, and others, frustrated, angry, rebellious, depressed and upset wishing that we could blame others for not providing what it is that we need. Many times, our friends and family members secretly wish that we would “get over with it” and get on with our life.
Many Problems Become a Part Of Who We Are
What we do not want to hear is that many human problems are rooted in who we are in this world. We were not born with perfect bodies that came with warranties that claim we would always operate in perfect condition. The reality is that we have imperfect bodies, have inherited certain genetic traits, and have to suffer the consequences of injuries, illnesses, life events, and other problems that happen to us. Often what we experience in life “changes us” and alters a part of who we were before. This can scare and frustrate us.
For many, depression and anxiety are not only a reaction to a specific situation, but may also have their roots in what happened to us early in life. Sometimes, depression and anxiety are an inherited family condition that is transmitted from one generation to another. Regardless of where they came from, what this means is that it is more important to focus on how one is going to “manage a condition” rather than try to “solve it once and for all”.
Redefining Our Identity
As much as we hate to admit it, we are just human beings who are not perfect. We have to learn how to grow through problems, stress, struggles, and our present situation. We have to start to see the value of the present even if things are not perfect. We have to accept yourselves in the present moment, with the present problem, and the knowledge that there are no quick and easy answers that will “make it all go away.” We have to quit protesting and start to focus on how we are going to function regardless of our present situation and the problems in this situation.
Accepting The Reality Of Life
The reality of life is that the only way we are ever going to improve things is to understand that we have to continue to work on things on a daily basis. Knowing that “you have to do it everyday” is critical to reminding you that this is a task which must become a part of your life.
This does not mean that there is something wrong with you. In fact, once you accept the reality of the situation, then you have a better chance of feeling and functioning better in life. It’s critical that we stop looking for the quick solutions. Instead, we need to understand as much about your situation/condition and then start to work to handle it on a daily basis, even if this is something that we have to do the rest of our life. This take real maturity and an understanding of the reality of life.
Working on things may involve changing how we react to things, how we think about solutions, and how we live our daily lives. It may require occasional “fine tuning” with counseling and therapy in order to accomplish and maintain our changes in life. This is not a failure; instead, it is using “the right tool for the job” and also referred to as “not getting in our own way”.
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