Challenging Codependency

Codependency is defined as being in a relationship where you do all the work and suffer all the consequences. Meanwhile, the other person does not grow or change, others don’t even notice all that you do, or appreciate it, and you end up worn out, exhausted, blamed, and torn apart.

While others have significant flaws which we can easily point out, our contribution to the “dance of chaos” is more difficult to identify as what it really ends up being… part of the original problem! We learn how to be codependent from our childhood, our family of origin, and our life experiences.

Learning a new way to become “unstuck” is critical to our survival as an intact and whole person, capable of relating to others in a responsible and mature manner.

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How Dysfunctional Families Cause “Thinking Errors”

Dysfunctional families promote very specific "thinking errors" that cause others difficulty in adapting to change and finding new ideas and directions. These errors in thinking cause a number of problems. Denial: Prevents us from dealing with what is going in any situation. "We just have a little problem; nothing major to worry about. It's not that bad!" This stops the discussion. Confusion: Prevents us from taking responsibility. We spend an inordinate amount of time trying to figure out what is going on. Everyone thrives on crisis...
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Do Not Stop Until You Have the Answer

The philosophy of Star Trek can be far reaching and profound. In many ways, through the inspiration of a story we can often learn more about ourselves and the world around us. Oddly enough, it can also introduce us to concepts that help us battle our own codependency. "Perhaps the key to understanding your experience is to stop looking into other sources for a meaning. When we look at Michaelangelo's David or Symnay's Tomb and we don't ask what does this mean to other people. The real question is, what...