In order to change from old habits of codependent behavior, you will need to abide by the Three Meta-Rules of Change.  These rules are the “rules about rules” that should govern any approach towards dealing with codependency and maximizing your impact on self-change. These rules allow you to gain self-respect, which is a way of being true to yourself. It allows you to focus on where you want to be at, and what changes you want to make, in life.

1. Respect Others

The ability to accept diversity of opinion and feelings. Understand how your behaviors affects others. Know that there is more than one correct answer. Allow others to find their own solutions, learn from errors, and develop their own path and solutions. You do not have to control, direct and tell them what you know is right for their life.

2. Take Responsibility

The ability to accept responsibility for one’s own actions and deeds, without blame, defensiveness, defending one’s own position, or finding fault with others.

3. Be Resourceful

The ability to develop skills to meet needs in life. Knowing when to ask for help; knowing when to offer help. Knowing when to reach out to others for help, and that not keeping secrets is critical to growth and change.

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