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Marriage Counselor

It hurts to discover that your relationship is in trouble. We think that if we hang on, we can "weather the storm". Yet we feel alone, isolated, and afraid. Recovering from the issues that bring us to the brink of divorce can be challenging. We wonder if our relationship can be saved.

When you play with matches, you will get burned

Warning Signs of Violent Acts

There are ways of evaluating the potential of future violent acts by those people we associate with in our daily lives. Part of the problem is that we “choose to ignore” the signs and symptoms that suggest future problems in our relationships out of our “hopes, needs and desires.”  Understanding...
stadium alone

Why Do I Keep Choosing the Wrong Person?

We sometimes wonder why we get ourselves into difficult relationships that “turn out bad” when they seemed so “promising” at the beginning. Sometimes we notice ourselves continuing to “pick the wrong ones” over and over again and cannot figure out what is happening. Many times we attribute it to...
Gottman Method

What is Gottman Method Couples Therapy?

Some patients prefer to use a specific type of Relationship Counseling called the Gottman Method of Couples Therapy. Based on Dr. John Gottman's research from the 1970's, this type of therapy is designed to help teach specific tools to deepen friendship and intimacy in one's relationship. Officially, the Gottman Method...
spy binoculars investigation

How Do I Know if My Partner is Cheating on Me?

Relationships go through many stages, ups and downs, good times and bad. Most of the time we get through these difficult periods. At times, our intuition tells us that the relationship is in the midst of a crisis. Affairs can threaten your trust in the relationship. Understanding the critical clues to an...
mouse trap accident

Why Does My Marriage Feel Like a Trap?

The Freedom of Choice is the most valued factor in our lives. Human beings will do most anything to insure that they can have choice in all of their decisions. Much of what counselors, therapists and psychologists hear in therapy is related to a sense that the individual does...
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Crisis Points of Relationships and Marriage

Marriage is most open to crisis when it is rigid and inflexible. Whatever won't bend will break, or push others away. Rigid people, who expect specific roles in relationships only create more crises at different relationship developmental points. When the relationship demands that there be isolation from outside supports, such as...
children playing tricycle

How Divorce Affects Children

Divorce is difficult for all concerned. The adults are hurt, defensive, confused, frightened, and respond by a desire to for revenge and defensiveness. Children are confused and uncertain about what to do or where they belong. Understanding a few factors is critical to everyone’s continuing healthy development. Children Are Not Adults Children...
fight karate

Why Does it Hurt So Much When We Fight?

The process of "becoming a couple" is filled with many emotions, feelings, attitudes, risking and identification with another person. Relationship problems happen when these same emotions are injured in any way.  When one "sees and hears" much blaming and emotions between a couple, it is clear that there has been...
wedding rings

How Can I Trust After an Affair?

Affairs happen for many reasons The main wound is that trust and comfort in the security of the relationship has been shattered.  The fact that we all search for security makes any violation of the relationship, either mental, spiritual, or sexual, much more upsetting. The fact that one is...
painting a landscape

How Sex and Affairs Act Like an Antidepressant

What is it that causes people to become involved in extra-marital affairs? There are multiple reasons that affairs happen. What has rarely been explored is how depression is a strong motivating factor in the initiation and continuing nature of affairs. Understanding a number of factors might be of some help in...
doubt choice hammer nail screw

Should I Stay Married or Get Divorced?

All marriages have difficult times that at times can seem overwhelming and confusing.  We all ask the question about whether or not it is worth the efforts to stay married. The question of, "Should I stay or should I go" weighs heavily on us. Sometimes, we end up stuck...
broken wine glass marriage

How Do I Come to Terms with my Divorce?

Divorce, or the loss of a relationship, is a very difficult time for all concerned.  It brings out many emotions, causes much confusion, and affects children, adults, parents, and the community.  Relationships are important to our lives and it is difficult for us to experience the loss of them. As...
codependent

Am I Codependent?

Counselors, therapists and psychologists frequently talk about co-dependent relationships as something that is not healthy. Understanding dysfunctional relationships requires that we examine how we approach relating to other people who are important to us. Co-Dependence Defined Codependency is best understood as a relationship where you do all the work, suffer all...
relationship fight conflict

How Do I Deal with Relationship Conflict?

Healthy families, and couples, know that everyone, and every family, has problems. We want to live in a society that tries to force us to believe that only bad people have problems. The reality is that we all have issues that we have to deal with and solve if...
relationship dating

How Do I Know If I am Ready to Date Again?

After a painful divorce or if a relationship falls apart, it is important that we take a honest look and understand why the relationship fell apart to ensure that we are whole and ready before we can be a good partner to someone else. Getting involved in a new relationship...
old phone rotary communication

How Do I Improve My Communication Skills With My Partner?

Learning to communicate together takes practice and time. You have to agree to work on it together and use several important steps. Understanding these important steps will help improve communication between you and your partner. Allow for Alone Time Do not try to communicate with your mate immediately upon their...