Relationship Counseling and Marital Therapy

At some point, conflict in a relationship or marriage is inevitable. The important question to ask is whether or not this is turning things towards a crisis. Waiting too long until things are damaged beyond repair is not in your best interests. If the two of you are really in trouble, it is extremely important to make a commitment to work on things in therapy together regardless of arguments, conflicts or other issues the two of you may have.

Relationships and marriages are a commitment that both of you are in together. If things are not getting better despite your best efforts, it’s time to seek out professional therapy and counseling. It hurts to discover that your relationship is in trouble. We think that if we hang on, we can “weather the storm”. Yet we can feel alone, isolated, and afraid.

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Why Does My Marriage Feel Like a Trap?

The Freedom of Choice is the most valued factor in our lives. Human beings will do most anything to insure that they can have choice in all of their decisions. Much of what counselors, therapists and psychologists hear in therapy is related to a sense that the individual does not have a sense of choice in their lives. When we feel an obligation to do something, being forced to do what others want, we resist. This is made worse when there is a sense of betrayal in the relationship in some manner. This causes a worry about trust and how...
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Crisis Points of Relationships and Marriage

Marriage is most open to crisis when it is rigid and inflexible. Whatever won't bend will break, or push others away. Rigid people, who expect specific roles in relationships only create more crises at different relationship developmental points. When the relationship demands that there be isolation from outside supports, such as family, the focus becomes one of control and fear. Problems can also develop when the relationship is seen as needing to be on the high of a romance. Romance seduces people into expecting too much. Romance after courtship can...
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Why Does it Hurt So Much When We Fight?

The process of "becoming a couple" is filled with many emotions, feelings, attitudes, risking and identification with another person. Relationship problems happen when these same emotions are injured in any way.  When one "sees and hears" much blaming and emotions between a couple, it is clear that there has been an "attachment bond injury" that has to be healed before the relationship can continue and be healed. Attachment-Bonding We know that an infant and parent need to develop a close bond of trust if the child is...
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Should I Stay Married or Get Divorced?

All marriages have difficult times that at times can seem overwhelming and confusing.  We all ask the question about whether or not it is worth the efforts to stay married. The question of, "Should I stay or should I go" weighs heavily on us. Sometimes, we end up stuck with the conflicting thought that our partner is too good to leave, but too bad to stay. Frustrated When we go through rough times, everything about the other person bothers us. It almost does not matter what the other person does, we tend to find fault with it. In the past we...
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How Do I Improve My Communication Skills With My Partner?

Learning to communicate together takes practice and time. You have to agree to work on it together and use several important steps. Understanding these important steps will help improve communication between you and your partner. Allow for Alone Time Do not try to communicate with your mate immediately upon their coming home. Give each other some time and space initially. Don't try to solve all your problems at one time. Know that it is fine for you and your mate to have time alone. Some time alone is necessary to wind down from work. This time alone though should not...