girl walking on side of road

How Do I Change?

In order to change from old habits of codependent behavior, you will need to abide by the Three Meta-Rules of Change.  These rules are the "rules about rules" that should govern any approach towards dealing with codependency and maximizing your impact on self-change. These rules allow you to gain self-respect, which is a way of being true to yourself. It allows you to focus on where you want to be at, and what changes you want to make, in life. 1. Respect Others The ability to accept diversity of opinion and feelings. Understand how your behaviors affects others. Know that there is...
david biofeedback

How Can Biofeedback Help Manage my Stress?

Biofeedback is a fancy way of saying that we look for signals from our biology in order to tell us how relaxed or stressed we are. If we were as observant as Sherlock Holmes, we could possibly perform biofeedback by merely observing one's body language and responses. However, most of use aren't that keenly aware of the subtle differences in body language. To compensate for this, we use machines which can measure signals (heart rate, electrical signals, etc.) of our body and turn the results into visual feedback by numbers, sounds, gauges and other information. By learning how to control our physical...
axe cut

Rates Slashed for Regence Oregon Psychotherapists

Back in early 2015, Regence Blue Cross Blue Shield announced that they would be cutting provider reimbursement rates by up to 30%. This rate reduction would affect mental health practitioners across the board at both the master's and doctorate level. Now, Mental health professionals have always had a difficult time when dealing with insurance companies. Rates are not reimbursed at the same level as other medical services, and until the Mental Health Parity Law, sometimes counseling wasn't even covered at all. However, a decrease in reimbursement rates is just confusing. The most distressing issue with this change is how it will indirectly...
Stress Knots

Physical Causes of Anxiety and Panic

Knowing the underlying causes of anxiety and panic allow you a way of understanding what you are doing that makes your symptoms worse. We do know that anxiety attacks, or panic, can easily be “set” in humans even after just one experience of being overwhelmed. This one time can set a “habit” and now can become automatic and your body can respond this way on a regular basis. Some people have “Anxiety Sensitivity” which suggests that some people are more prone to anxiety and panic attacks because of fact that they are just more “sensitive” types of people. Being “sensitive” can be...
Living with depression

How Do I Know if I am Depressed?

One of the most common disorders in the world is depression. It is the “common cold” of emotional disorders and no one is exempt from it. We can deny and run depression, but at a cost. Whenever we try to deny feelings, hold things in, it will come out in some manner, whether through physical or emotional symptoms. Through counseling and therapy, we can “grow from these feelings” if we take the time to “look and examine” what this means for our life’s “journey.” Identifying Depression Most of us hate to admit it, but we all go through periods of adjustment that...
banana peel slip

The Six Weakest Moments for Affairs

Affairs are difficult for most people to understand. Knowing the vulnerable periods can help in preventing and dealing with them for men and women alike. 1. The Hard-Working Steady Course Work Ethic We value getting up, working hard and long, coming home, dealing with the family, playing with the kids day-after-day. We lose our imaginations because we get stuck in a rut of daily life. We forget how to take time out, have fun, act like kids. We grind away under an ungrateful boss, spouse, etc., seeming to be trapped for the rest of our life — and then we die...
flower broken glass window

Perfectionism: The Stress Personality

Stress, burn-out, and coping requires that we come to understand our own perfectionistic traits. Perfectionism forces us to take on too much, to be impatient, angry, hostile, and competitive. We feel that we must have things done a certain way. It drives us to work all the time, making it difficult to relax and have fun and relationships. A hard driving perfectionist demands more of others and of himself/herself. Perfectionism can be a deadly trait in the workplace, especially if the perfectionist is the boss. A ten year study of 9,000 managers found that perfectionism makes you sick. Perfectionism...
body pain

How the Body Remembers

Physical symptoms, stress, anxiety, and chronic health care problems are many times overwhelming and difficult to deal with.  Such physical problems are exhausting and solutions many times are hard to find.  Because we believe that doctors and other professionals should have the answers to all of our physical health concerns, we are many times discouraged and upset when such solutions are not found.  It may be that we are looking in the wrong place for understanding what is wrong with us.  Here are a few thoughts that are critical to understand. The Mind-Body Connection Though we many times do not...
Shame and Guilt

Why Do I Feel Shame and Guilt?

People who suffer depression and anxiety frequently spend much of their time feeling shame about the past or worrying about the future. It comes as no surprise that this is a more common problem that we face every day than we'd like to admit to ourselves. How we understand feelings of guilt and shame helps us to focus and deal with these immobilizing emotions. Guilt and Shame From the Past Often, we have a feeling that we might have done some unforgivable thing in the past and deserve to be punished. Guilt is the punishment that makes us feel that we...
busy stress anxiety clock

How do I Manage my Chronic Stress and Anxiety?

Anxiety, tensions, panic anxiety, worrying, obsessive thoughts, all are difficult to control. Many times such feelings tend to overwhelm us and make us feel out of control. We wonder if we are ever going to be able to find a solution to these problems and "live a normal life." One of the reasons we have so much trouble attaining comfort and happiness is that we don't even know what it is. We try to annihilate our anxiety and other disturbing thoughts, traumas, sadness, loneliness, and other difficulties hoping that his will help. We confuse being happy with a life that has...