busy stress anxiety clock

How do I Manage my Chronic Stress and Anxiety?

Anxiety, tensions, panic anxiety, worrying, obsessive thoughts, all are difficult to control. Many times such feelings tend to overwhelm us and make us feel out of control. We wonder if we are ever going to be able to find a solution to these problems and "live a normal life." One of the reasons we have so much trouble attaining comfort and happiness is that we don't even know what it is. We try to annihilate our anxiety and other disturbing thoughts, traumas, sadness, loneliness, and other difficulties hoping that his will help. We confuse being happy with a life that has...
Gottman Method

What is Gottman Method Couples Therapy?

Some patients prefer to use a specific type of Relationship Counseling called the Gottman Method of Couples Therapy. Based on Dr. John Gottman's research from the 1970's, this type of therapy is designed to help teach specific tools to deepen friendship and intimacy in one's relationship. Officially, the Gottman Method of Couples Therapy relies on a specific structure and approach. Which is interesting in that Dr. John Gottman is also a vocal advocate for making modifications and adaptations to his techniques as each therapist sees as appropriate.  The structure involves a series of assessment phases, followed by treatment and then...
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Managing Stress and Anxiety

It's not surprising that any type of stress can affect us. What we often overlook is that this tends to be a cumulative effect that can affect our tolerance for change, our likelihood of getting sick and even how much we might be able to adapt to new problems. This isn't limited to just unpleasant stress; even good stress can take a toll on our body. One of the common ways a therapist might help you determine how much stress you've actually faced is the Holmes-Rahe Life Stress Inventory. The consequences of unanticipated stress can have a tremendous impact on...
trample underfoot unfair

Why is Life Not Fair?

There's an old story that goes like this:  A man visits his doctor, complaining of pain when he raises his right arm.  The doctor, looking inquisitive for a moment, responds with, "So don't do that." But is that fair? It's interesting to find that we actively resist what we consider isn't fair. In fact, it's something that plays out endless times every day across the globe: If we feel that someone has wronged us, it's not fair. If we can't do what other people take for granted, it's not fair. If we want something that we can't have but others have...
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Should I Stay Married or Get Divorced?

All marriages have difficult times that at times can seem overwhelming and confusing.  We all ask the question about whether or not it is worth the efforts to stay married. The question of, "Should I stay or should I go" weighs heavily on us. Sometimes, we end up stuck with the conflicting thought that our partner is too good to leave, but too bad to stay. Frustrated When we go through rough times, everything about the other person bothers us. It almost does not matter what the other person does, we tend to find fault with it. In the past we...
medication pills

Do I Have to Take Medication?

One of the more common concerns expressed by patients is about taking medications for depression or anxiety. Many times, we want to be able to do things on our own without the need for something "artificial". Other times, we just have a gut reaction to the thought of having to take medications for something that's "all in our head".  The most important part, regardless of whether you take medications or not, is to have a comprehensive evaluation by a counselor or mental health practitioner. This ensures that you will have all the information you need in order to make an...
Old Library Books

Important Books for Private Practice Therapists

Starting up a private practice can be overwhelming, intimidating, and often a huge financial risk. Taking steps to mitigate the dangers involved demands approaching things from a business perspective; the dilemma is that this is the anthesis of what we consider a genuine therapist should be. Finding a way to blend the two – business skills with the therapist mindset and ethics – is the key. One of the services I offer is being a business mentor for mental health therapists (psychologists, social workers, licensed professional counselors, nurse practitioners, etc.) who are interested in starting, or refining, an independent private...
sharp jabbing pain

The Real Impact of Chronic Pain

Having chronic pain affects self-image, relationships and interrupts life plans. It constricts physical and emotional abilities. It's frequently not understood or accepted by many people. Often, the person with chronic pain can be judged harshly. Many report feeling angry that the pain and fatigue hinders them from the things they love to do. Since the symptoms of chronic pain tends to change from day to day, family members and friends sometimes struggle with understanding how their loved one can be so impaired one day and are able to do things the next day. They may say, I thought you were...
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How Sex and Affairs Act Like an Antidepressant

What is it that causes people to become involved in extra-marital affairs? There are multiple reasons that affairs happen. What has rarely been explored is how depression is a strong motivating factor in the initiation and continuing nature of affairs. Understanding a number of factors might be of some help in thinking as one finds themselves trapped in temptation. Resistance to Reality Changes The one thing that is always happening in life is the one thing that we resist the most: change! We are constantly faced by the issues of change in life whether it be the changing of one day to the...
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Growing Up with Emotional Abuse

When children's development of self-esteem, social skills or capacity for intimacy is jeopardized by their parents' behavior or neglect, they may be the victim of emotional abuse. Whether it is alcohol or other drugs, mental illness, compulsive behavior (eating, working, religion, etc.), or any one of a thousand other things that deplete a family's emotional life, the results are the same. Children are left to their own devices to make sense of the pain and loneliness in their life. In the end, they are the victims of emotional abuse: A pattern of rejecting, isolating, terrorizing, ignoring and corrupting behavior from...