burnout

Caretaker Burnout, Compassion, and Fatigue

When a member of the family experiences problems, an illness, injury or disability, we tend to forget the impact that any of these problems have on other members of the family. Even short-term crises and problems can drain us as we try to be strong in our efforts to be caring and helpful. Taking care of others with chronic problems requires a lot of energy, love and concern. We all want to do it when problems develop out of love and concern. What we tend to forget is that over time, caretaker burnout can develop leaving the caretaker with a...
sleep dog worry

How Do I Sleep when Worrying Keeps Me Awake?

Obsessions and worries can keep one tense, anxious, upset, and unable to stop one from thinking. Most anxious person are aware that their thoughts are irrational but feel unable to stop themselves. Here are a few ideas that might prove helpful in overcoming these difficult times and being able to sleep better. Worrying As An Inherited Habit Worrying robs us of being able to live in the present moment of life. Life gets focused on trying to control the future in some way while worrying that the worse things will happen. Many worriers say that they come from a family of worriers who...

Do Not Stop Until You Have the Answer

The philosophy of Star Trek can be far reaching and profound. In many ways, through the inspiration of a story we can often learn more about ourselves and the world around us. Oddly enough, it can also introduce us to concepts that help us battle our own codependency. "Perhaps the key to understanding your experience is to stop looking into other sources for a meaning. When we look at Michaelangelo's David or Symnay's Tomb and we don't ask what does this mean to other people. The real question is, what does it mean to us? Explore this image, Data. Let...
relationship dating

What Makes a Relationship Last?

Psychologists have studied couples for years in order to find out what makes for a lasting relationship. However, predicting what is going to work “before” the marriage is more difficult. Ted Huston, Ph.D. found that marriages fall into four distinct groups:  Married and happy; married and unhappy; divorced early, within seven years, or divorced later, after seven years. Ultimately, the distinguishing factor between those who divorced and those who remained married was noted in the amount of change in the fist two years of the marriage. Happily Married These people were as happy and “in love” as newlyweds. They had less mixed feelings,...
david biofeedback

How Can Biofeedback Help Manage my Stress?

Biofeedback is a fancy way of saying that we look for signals from our biology in order to tell us how relaxed or stressed we are. If we were as observant as Sherlock Holmes, we could possibly perform biofeedback by merely observing one's body language and responses. However, most of use aren't that keenly aware of the subtle differences in body language. To compensate for this, we use machines which can measure signals (heart rate, electrical signals, etc.) of our body and turn the results into visual feedback by numbers, sounds, gauges and other information. By learning how to control our physical...
flower broken glass window

Perfectionism: The Stress Personality

Stress, burn-out, and coping requires that we come to understand our own perfectionistic traits. Perfectionism forces us to take on too much, to be impatient, angry, hostile, and competitive. We feel that we must have things done a certain way. It drives us to work all the time, making it difficult to relax and have fun and relationships. A hard driving perfectionist demands more of others and of himself/herself. Perfectionism can be a deadly trait in the workplace, especially if the perfectionist is the boss. A ten year study of 9,000 managers found that perfectionism makes you sick. Perfectionism...

The Double-Edge Sword of Anxiety and Panic

It can be very difficult to control one's anxiety. Often, this comes from two surprisingly positive aspects of personality: Intuitive awareness, and Vivid creativity. Intuitive Awareness Anxious people tend to possess a "special intuitive awareness" of the world around them. It is an ability to sense what others may be feeling, even without words. Often there is a concern for not wanting to offend others, holding in feelings, and an awareness of what is going on at "multiple levels of consciousness." Anxious people tend to believe that they are "over-reacting" to what they sense from others. As a result, there is a further incentive...
sad puppy dog

Challenging Negative Self-Talk

Negative dialogue is one of the most important aspects of chronic anxiety, pain, along with stopping one’s progress in overcoming any problems. What we say to ourselves when we face the day, problems and difficulties, can cause us to feel depressed, anxious, or happy. One of the reasons we stay in a "bad state" is because of the way we talk to ourselves. Examples of Negative Self-Talk Sometimes, we mistake negative self talk as fact.  Some examples of this elusive mindset include: "My life sucks, I hate it!" "I'm nothing but a screw-up." "What's wrong with me?" "Why can't I be...
Gottman Method

What is Gottman Method Couples Therapy?

Some patients prefer to use a specific type of Relationship Counseling called the Gottman Method of Couples Therapy. Based on Dr. John Gottman's research from the 1970's, this type of therapy is designed to help teach specific tools to deepen friendship and intimacy in one's relationship. Officially, the Gottman Method of Couples Therapy relies on a specific structure and approach. Which is interesting in that Dr. John Gottman is also a vocal advocate for making modifications and adaptations to his techniques as each therapist sees as appropriate.  The structure involves a series of assessment phases, followed by treatment and then...

The Best Way to Take Pain Medication

Over the years there has been a great deal of research and practical experience around the issue of how best to take one’s pain medication. Understanding a few issues might assist you with having the best response to your medications. Society and Medication We live in a society that has mixed feelings about the use of medications. On the one hand we "expect" that physicians should be able to prescribe medications that will provide quick and effective "magical cures" that will solve all our problems. In fact, the media, through television and news, is always talking about "new discoveries" for medications...