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Why Do I Feel Like a Fraud?

Do you feel like a fraud who just "fakes it" and is in danger of being found out?Most adults have struggled through their lives to develop themselves in some way that allows them to function in the world as "normal human beings".  As a result, we have had to overcome our insecurities and "act as if everything is okay."This results in the "fake-it until you make it" way of approaching life, and we might occasionally feel like a phony or a  charlatan. However, there are some people who are constantly worried that others will...
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How to Say NO to an Amoeba: Realistic Boundaries for Modern Times

We all want to be fair, kind and loving to the people that we care about. Sometimes that means going out of our way for them. At other times, it means putting up with a certain amount of crap. In the long run, we hope and bet on the odds that it's worth it for our relationship to have a little give-and-take.However, giving out love without any boundaries can be extremely dangerous. Let's explore!Carl Sagan once wrote about how this all may have developed. Imagine ancient history: At some point...
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Losses and Their Meaning in our Lives

Understanding grief and loss in our lives can help us cope with the difficult times. We are people who attach ourselves to people, pets, and things and when they are gone we miss them.Types of LossesLoss of a Loved one through death, divorce, separation OR even the death/loss of a pet animal. Loss of long-held beliefs about our being invulnerable and immortal, because we have suffered a trauma, injury, illness. Loss of ideas or beliefs about one's world, self, or others. Loss of ability...
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How Do I Improve the Odds that Therapy Will Work for Me?

These are some things that just simply prevent one's ability to navigate therapy smoothly. When present, they can multiply one's ability to grow and recover by a factor of five. The affect not only one's mental health; they can amplify the symptoms you are struggling with. Without addressing these issues in parallel with the individual issues you bring to therapy, progress can be left at a standstill. Drug & Alcohol Abuse Combining mental health issues with alcohol and drug use is like pouring gas on the fire. And then we struggle when things continue to fall apart.It's not uncommon to be...
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The Variables of Optimism, Perception and Control

In 1965, Commander James Stockdale was flying over enemy territory when he was forced to eject from his plane. Stockdale was captured, tortured and held as a prisoner of war for seven years before his escape. How he dealt with his situation draws an inescapable conclusion regarding what it takes to survive in life when the odds are against us.After gaining his freedom, he was interviewed for a book in 2001. At some point during the discussion, his interviewer paused and changed the topic of conversation.“How,” he wanted to know, “did you survive all of those years of capture and...