Dog Decision Making

What if I Make the Wrong Decision?

We all like feelings of certainty. In fact, this desire is so strong that we often delay making a decision out of a fear of it being the wrong one. While we secretly suspect that we're overanalyzing, we can't shake the feeling that our decision is doomed to failure. The problem is that the more we worry, the less we can effectively make a decision. The real problem is one of absolutes. As the saying goes, there are no absolutes in life; only shades of grey. Another way of stating this is that although the world is fundamentally analog, we prefer...
Marriage spouse change

How Do I Get My Spouse to Change?

Relationships are important to your health and survival. Many times we enter relationships and notice things in our mates that “we know need to be changed!” The problem is that there is always an element of truth in the situation but changing others is a much more complicated situation than it might seem on the outside. It is always easy to see what others are doing wrong and what they need to change. At times, others do need the help of others to “see the light” and make changes. However, most of the time, others will tend to resist our...
busy stress anxiety clock

How do I Manage my Chronic Stress and Anxiety?

Anxiety, tensions, panic anxiety, worrying, obsessive thoughts, all are difficult to control. Many times such feelings tend to overwhelm us and make us feel out of control. We wonder if we are ever going to be able to find a solution to these problems and "live a normal life." One of the reasons we have so much trouble attaining comfort and happiness is that we don't even know what it is. We try to annihilate our anxiety and other disturbing thoughts, traumas, sadness, loneliness, and other difficulties hoping that his will help. We confuse being happy with a life that has...
pain

Treatment and Fibromyalgia

Effective treatment must involve both behavioral/psychological and physical approaches to managing pains. Improvement is a step-by-step process, with periods of relapses and flare-ups, which require the patient being active in their own care. The course of treatment can be slow and take time with a large focus on being able to manage one's pain over time. There is no cure and the patient must understand how they can reduce the pains, manage problems, and use pain management ideas, which includes regular exercise (however, strength training may only worsen Fibromyalgia).  Important treatment concerns include: A major focus in improving the quality of sleep...
pain medicine

Major Mistakes Made by Patient in Chronic Pain

There is no doubt that “entering the world of chronic pain” is a confusing and difficult process.  Many times, patients do not understand some of the basics of pain management approaches to care.  However, helping patients to become aware of various problems and mistakes, ahead of time, will allow them to respond differently and learn how to become part of the pain management team.  This handout is to be given to patients as they start treatment for their chronic pain problems.  There is no question that for the person living in chronic pain, life is very difficult and exhausting.  In...
pain sports

Pain Coping Skills

Life is full of stressors, from jobs or co-workers we don’t like, to cars that break down, from teenagers who act out to bills to pay. How anyone copes with stress is important but it is particularly important for people who also suffer from chronic pain. Here’s why. Chronic pain disorders are not understood or accepted by many. Pain impacts self-image and interrupts life plans. It stops people from enjoying activities they used to do and creates stress and anxiety. Chronic pain may also disrupt relationships. Understanding and treating the impact chronic pain has on your life is an important...
Anxiety and depression are a part of our life's journey

How Can I Live the Life I Want To Live While Managing My Anxiety?

Depression, anxiety, and other emotional problems are things that we wish would “just go away.” The frustration in dealing with such problems is that they tend to last longer than we think is appropriate or comfortable. We find that our life goals have had to change as a result of these things. It helps to understand a few key issues in order to live the life you want while managing these problems. Our Wish For a Quick Cure We often expect that in the face of problems we can have a "quick solution". We turn to professionals with the expectation that...
children playing tricycle

How Divorce Affects Children

Divorce is difficult for all concerned. The adults are hurt, defensive, confused, frightened, and respond by a desire to for revenge and defensiveness. Children are confused and uncertain about what to do or where they belong. Understanding a few factors is critical to everyone’s continuing healthy development. Children Are Not Adults Children as not little adults who understand things the same as real adults do. Children tend to interpret what is happening to them in terms of their immediate lives. Children have little understanding of the future and tend to live in the present. They tend to hold magical beliefs that influence their thinking and behaviors. They...
stadium alone

Why Do I Keep Choosing the Wrong Person?

We sometimes wonder why we get ourselves into difficult relationships that “turn out bad” when they seemed so “promising” at the beginning. Sometimes we notice ourselves continuing to “pick the wrong ones” over and over again and cannot figure out what is happening. Many times we attribute it to the other person and think that there are so many “wrong people out there” that we just better “stay away” or “put up with it.” Understanding a few issues will be of a great deal of help and assistance. Modeling of our Family Much as we might had to admit it, much...
When you play with matches, you will get burned

Warning Signs of Violent Acts

There are ways of evaluating the potential of future violent acts by those people we associate with in our daily lives. Part of the problem is that we “choose to ignore” the signs and symptoms that suggest future problems in our relationships out of our “hopes, needs and desires.”  Understanding a few issues helps one to make realistic and logical decisions about what to expect from others. The Nice Guy Syndrome We frequently hear others describe people who have been violent as “nice guys” who never showed any indications that they might “lose it.” Others may like them, but they are difficult...