If you grew up in an unhealthy or dysfunctional family, it has drastically and permanently altered the course of your life. It is absolutely vital to understand how, specifically, this affects you so that you can stand a chance to change patterns of unhealthy choices and behaviors that plague you and your adult life.[Read more…] about Wait, I’m not Crazy?! Adults Who Grew Up in Dysfunctional Families
Drs. John & Judy Gottman decided to take all the counseling approaches for couples and actually test what worked, and what didn’t. In the end, they discovered over 50% of the advice was useless. From this, they refined and established actual, measurable methods of working with couples that actually makes a difference. Here’s what the Gottman Method looks like, and what they found to be useful in their research.Read more
No one WANTS to swim with sharks. However, difficult people are, by their very nature, sharks: Aggressive, territorial, and tribal. When we unexpectedly find ourselves dealing with a difficult person, we assume that they will “play fair”. In our desire to “get along with others”, we often make the situation worse. In reality, we have no choice but to learn how to identify and respond assertively without being “eaten alive”. [Read more…] about How to Swim with the “Difficult Sharks” in our Lives
At some point, you may find yourself in need of a good psychiatrist. There are three critical rules in doing this. Understanding the terminology in distinguishing between a psychiatrist, psychologist, and psychiatric mental nurse practitioner is the most important step. [Read more…] about How to Choose a Good Psychiatrist
It is incredibly painful and heartbreaking when you realize that the person you love is hostile towards you. Especially when we know that we deserve to be treated with dignity and respect. You want to help your partner understand that there is a better way to talk with you, but instead they insist on controlling and dominating everyone and everything around them. The harsh reality is that verbal abuse is a violation of our trust and emotional safety. In order to make lasting changes in your partner, it is critical that you learn how to recognize, and respond to, the cycle of verbal abuse.[Read more…] about Verbally Abusive Relationships
One of the most common disorders in the world is depression. It is the “common cold” of emotional disorders that no one is exempt from. It’s hard for us to admit, but we all go through periods of adjustment that can cause us to feel sad, blue, down, and unhappy. Yet we tend to forget that depressed feelings can also be important signs that something is changing in our lives. We can deny and run from them, but that is a serious mistake. However, we can grow from these feelings if we take the time to look and examine what this means for our life’s journey.[Read more…] about Depression: The Most Misunderstood Disease
If you do end up getting divorced, the loss of this relationship will be a very difficult time for all concerned. It brings out many emotions, causes much confusion, and affects children, adults, parents, and the community. Relationships are important to our lives and it is difficult for us to experience the loss of them. As we experience the changes of divorce, it is important that we understand what has happened.[Read more…] about How Do I Come to Terms with my Divorce?
Divorce is difficult for all concerned. The adults are hurt, defensive, confused, frightened, and respond by a desire to for revenge and defensiveness. Children are confused and uncertain about what to do or where they belong. Understanding a few factors is critical to everyone’s continuing healthy development.[Read more…] about How Divorce Affects Children
After a painful divorce or if a relationship falls apart, it is important that we take a honest look and understand why the relationship fell apart to ensure that we are whole and ready before we can be a good partner to someone else.[Read more…] about How Will I Know When I am Ready to Date Again?
Psychologists have studied couples for years in order to find out what makes for a lasting relationship. However, predicting what is going to work “before” the marriage is more difficult. Ted Huston, Ph.D. found that marriages fall into four distinct groups: Married and happy; married and unhappy; divorced early, within seven years, or divorced later, after seven years. Ultimately, the distinguishing factor between those who divorced and those who remained married was noted in the amount of change in the fist two years of the marriage.[Read more…] about What Makes a Relationship Last?