house upside down

Wait, I’m not Crazy?! Adults Who Grew Up in Dysfunctional Families

If you grew up in an unhealthy or dysfunctional family, it has drastically and permanently altered the course of your life. It is absolutely vital to understand how, specifically, this affects you so that you can stand a chance to change patterns of unhealthy choices and behaviors that plague you and your adult life. The bottom line is that it's important to realize that you are not crazy. Rather, you grew up in a crazy or "dysfunctional" family which caused you to develop essential yet unhealthy survival habits. You also learned how to live...
dysfunctional family cat

Why Do People Who Come From Dysfunctional Families Have More Interpersonal Problems?

Have you ever felt that... ...other people don’t understand you? ...other people "have it out" for you? ...you have to “protect yourself” from others? ...others are just not as accepting of you? ...you have to defend yourself from other people? The answers to these and many other questions are critical to your having a long-term happy life.  Understanding a few issues might be of some help. The challenge for you will be to read this material and learn ways of applying it in your everyday life without blaming or excuses.
road closed

How Dysfunctional Families Cause “Thinking Errors”

Dysfunctional families promote very specific "thinking errors" that cause others difficulty in adapting to change and finding new ideas and directions. These errors in thinking cause a number of problems. Denial: Prevents us from dealing with what is going in any situation. "We just have a little problem; nothing major to worry about. It's not that bad!" This stops the discussion. Confusion: Prevents us from taking responsibility. We spend an inordinate amount of time trying to figure out what is going on. Everyone thrives on crisis...
spouse change

How Do I Fix or Get My Spouse to Change?

The other day, I had to fix a broken light switch. Yep, I didn't know those could stop working either. Fortunately, I remembered enough about electrical wiring that it was a simple task: Trip to the hardware store, turn off the electricity and swap out the faulty switch. Unfortunately, fixing our spouse or partner isn't as easy. Instead, they fight back. It's always easy to see what others are doing wrong and what they need to change. Yet, for some reason they resist our efforts to "help" them and instead complain...
self sabotage therapy

The Rules of Self-Sabotage

We sometime wonder why we keep getting into the same troubles or have problems in changing our behaviors. This is a complex issue requiring that you take time to examine your behaviors in different settings. Self Sabotage happens when we try to come up with solutions using an "incomplete formula": Our frantic attempts to change our past, how we talk to ourselves, and the childhood roles we unconsciously live by. Freud and the Repetition Complex Sigmund Freud talked about how we make efforts...