Negative dialogue is one of the most important aspects of chronic anxiety, pain, along with stopping one’s progress in overcoming any problems. What we say to ourselves when we face the day, problems and difficulties, can cause us to feel depressed, anxious, or happy. One of the reasons we stay in a “bad state” is because of the way we talk to ourselves.

Examples of Negative Self-Talk

Sometimes, we mistake negative self talk as fact.  Some examples of this elusive mindset include:

  • “My life sucks, I hate it!”
  • “I’m nothing but a screw-up.”
  • “What’s wrong with me?”
  • “Why can’t I be normal?”
  • “What if I never get any better?”

Learning Positive Talk

We must learn to have more compassion for ourselves. We must learn to talk to ourselves even when we are afraid. We have to “change our thinking” because it has a direct impact on our healing and immune system response. No healing can happen, physically or emotionally, if we are focused on “yes, but…” or negative statements.

We must learn to praise ourselves and mean it. We must learn to talk to ourselves in a relaxing, soothing and comforting manner if we want to come out of the shadows of anxiety and depression. We must learn to use positive dialogue instead of negative when we feel we have failed at something or done something wrong. We must learn how to stop negative thoughts and comments and replace them with positive ones.

At first, these may seem silly and not very real. We have to work at it until it becomes real. Keep this in mind while you practice: Whatever we pay attention to will increase in frequency. This includes both positive, and negative thoughts.

Which path will you choose?

Photo credit: Pixabay/moshehar

David Lechnyr, LCSW is a Eugene therapist and counselor specializing in treating anxiety, stress, and panic attacks using Cognitive-Behavioral Therapy. Frequently, these involve aspects of codependency, depression, perfectionism, self-esteem, self-compassion, and relationship issues. He received his graduate degree in 1992, is a member of the International Association for Cognitive Therapy, and has completed Level 2 Training in Gottman Method Couples Therapy.