My approach in helping others has been described as Directed Therapy & Supportive Counseling. Essentially, I want to provide guidance that is specific and useful, with both support and respect so that you feel heard and valued for your own path in life. With this in mind, I have found the following areas to be the most common issues to focus on when working with patients.
Therapy & Counseling
Therapy that provides you both direction and support as you grow from the struggles in life
Anxiety controls and dominates us. Even the most rational person can become a victim of anxiety. It affects our quality of life and complicates our relationships. Do you find yourself worrying too much about too many things? Are you afraid that something awful might happen or are, in fact, worrying about worrying?
“I’m my own worst critic,” we might say in a sudden moment of insight. It is very true that most of us are hard on ourselves, particularly if we get even the slightest hint that we don’t ‘match up’ in some way – in our achievements, career or study, social standing, relationships, appearance, body image, financial status, etc. If we make even the smallest mistake, then we have a tendency to berate ourselves, and if we make a genuine medium or large mistake, then look out!
Codependency is defined as being in a relationship where you do all the work and suffer all the consequences. Meanwhile, the other person does not grow or change, others don’t even notice all that you do, or appreciate it, and you end up worn out, exhausted, blamed, and torn apart. While others have significant flaws which we can easily point out, our contribution to the “dance of chaos” is more difficult to identify as what it really ends up being… part of the original problem! We learn how to be codependent from our childhood, our family of origin, and our life experiences; learning a new way to become “unstuck” is critical to our survival as an intact and whole person, capable of relating to others in a responsible and mature manner.
Depression can be difficult to pinpoint in our own lives. We all experience periods of normal sadness or disappointment from time to time. Where this becomes a problem is when your feelings start to interfere with your life. If you find that depression is starting to affect a significant portion of your day, the best time to act is before it overwhelms your life.
Everyone, at some point or another, is uncertain about themselves, lacks self-confidence, doubts their abilities, or thinks negatively of themselves. However, if you think that you might have problems with low self-esteem, or are not sure if you have this problem but want to find out, then this is a sign that something might be impacting your quality of life.
Assertiveness means being able to clearly and calmly express what you need without being overly passive (hurting your own self esteem) or aggressive (damaging other’s self esteem). Assertive communication doesn’t guarantee you will have your needs met. However, it does make it more likely that you will be heard and listened to. It can also dramatically improve your relationships with other people in unexpected and beneficial ways.
Panic and anxiety can impact anyone at anytime. It can convince us that we are out of our mind, that we are dying, or that something physically is wrong with us. Estimates are that about 1 in 30 people experience significant panic at some time in their life. However, panic is as much a fight of the mind as it is of the body; finding your way towards balancing this equation often requires professional advice and guidance.
Perfectionism involves putting pressure on ourselves to meet high standards which then powerfully influences the way we think about ourselves. Researchers have shown that parts of perfectionism are helpful, and parts are unhelpful. We’re here to help you identify and work on the unhelpful parts, so that you get satisfaction from your achievements and lead a more fulfilling life.
At some point, conflict in a relationship or marriage is inevitable. The important question to ask is whether or not this is turning things towards a crisis. Waiting too long until things are damaged beyond repair is not in your best interests. If the two of you are really in trouble, it is extremely important to make a commitment to work on things in therapy together regardless of arguments, conflicts or other issues the two of you may have. Relationships and marriages are a commitment that both of you are in together. If things are not getting better despite your best efforts, it’s time to seek out professional therapy and counseling.
It hurts to discover that your relationship is in trouble. We think that if we hang on, we can “weather the storm”. Yet we feel alone, isolated, and afraid. Recovering from the issues that bring us to the brink by learning good communication skills is one of the primary goals of marital therapy.